


Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Guy With Slightly More Self Esteem

by LandOfMistAndSecrets



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Bulges, Dorks in Love, Earth C (Homestuck), Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Karkat bottoms in this what a miracle, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 14:59:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14334975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LandOfMistAndSecrets/pseuds/LandOfMistAndSecrets
Summary: Dave is really attracted to his boyfriend, and determined to prove it.





	Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Guy With Slightly More Self Esteem

There was this look Karkat would give him, sometimes, when they were all tangled up and hot and bothered together, faces flushed and breathing fast. It was this funny, fucked up mix of curious and nervous and absolutely goddamn dead set determined, with his brows squished down and his eyes narrowed into bright little slits. Sometimes, he'd pull back and bite his lip in this totally fucking distracting way, and it usually meant that whatever was about to happen next would be stupid, hilarious, and somehow extremely fucking hot. All at once. Such were Karkat's mystifying xenological powers -- one of, uh, many. Dave choked down a laugh, tilted his chin up, and there it was. The Look.

Karkat had his hands on Dave's shoulders, his knees pressed tight against his hips, and he'd leaned back to probably make a bunch of embarrassing eye contact... but all he was managing to do was glare at him like he was about to call make out time quits and start airing a bunch of bottled up grievances. Dave raised his eyebrows. Karkat exhaled in typical Karkat fashion -- which is to say, loudly. 

"Take them off," Karkat said, all gruff and stern-like, making it an order. The tone alone scrambled Dave's already hazy brain for a few hot seconds before it clicked -- the shades, fuck, obviously. He let his eyebrows climb higher.

"What, the shirt? The socks? The pants, Karkat, already, are you sure? I mean I can, but -- speaking from experience, and all -- you usually like a little more build up--" 

"--No, shut up--" 

"--before we start awkwardly kicking our clothes off--" 

Karkat's hands left his shoulders and landed on either side of his face, rough palms warm against the hard line of his jaw. Dave stuttered over whatever nonsense he'd been about to say, Karkat rolled his eyes theatrically, and then he leaned in and they were kissing again. Nice. The way Karkat's lips parted against his at the slightest goddamn prompting still made his heart stutter, which translated naturally into him making all kinds of heart stuttering type sounds into his alien mouth. Talk blaster. Shout gaper. He half-laughed again, the sound muffled under their busy lips, and as in reproach, Karkat slid his fingers back up under his ears, into his hair, and tightened his grip there just enough to sting. Dave made a truly embarrassing sound, a kind of choked up breathy half-gasp, and Karkat answered with a smug _hmm_ noise against his lips.

"The fuck is so funny," he demanded. 

"Your tongue is like sandpaper," Dave informed him, not for the first time. It wasn't really true. Well, maybe. Soft sandpaper, though. Was that a thing?

" _Your_ tongue has the texture of an expired frondfruit," Karkat said. 

"Hell yes. Soft and slimy, just the way you like it." Dave stuck his tongue out at him. Karkat leaned forward and snapped his teeth together with a sharp _clack_ , and Dave tried his best not to actually giggle (what the fuck) at him. Not cool. "Oh my god, Karkat, if you actually bite my tongue off you're gonna regret it, later." 

Karkat raised an eyebrow at him. 

"You know it's true." 

"Maybe," he said, insultingly dubious.

" _Maybe?_ " 

"I mean, it's not impossible that I might regret it eventually, I guess..."

"Karkat." Dave regarded him very seriously. He was clearly suppressing a laugh. He was terrible at it, he could never hide anything he was thinking. His lips twitched up, his eyes crinkled at the corners, and, _god_ , he was a truly beautiful grey spaceman alien piece of shit. Dave opened his mouth to tell him exactly that, but Karkat took the opportunity to lean in and pluck his shades off his face, instead. Dave blinked into the light, taking a moment to marvel at how much more color everything had all of a sudden. Karkat tossed the shades carelessly over his shoulder. 

"Dude," Dave protested, sitting up to watch them land harmlessly further down the bed. 

"You had your chance," Karkat huffed at him. His hands went back to gripping his shoulders, and he used the leverage he gained by doing so to wriggle forward a little in his lap. Dave exhaled, slowly, blinking up into his face.

"Oh, shit," he said, resting his own hands on Karkat's hips, teasing at the hem of his sweater. "So forward, Mr. Vantas." Karkat sighed, but he did that a lot. He knew it wouldn't stop him. "A guy might get the wrong idea, you know, about the honorability of your -- oh shit, you know what this is? This is downright goddamn compromising. This is the sort of thing that ends with backyard shotgun weddings and hella awkward Thanksgiving dinners forever after, year after year after year." 

Karkat tried to hide his smile, he really did, but Dave was pretty damn good at catching them in the space between all the glares Karkat liked to conjure out of his endless supply of totally fake outrage. "My god," Karkat said, managing an impressive deadpan sort of evenness, "It's almost artistic, how incredibly unromantic all of that shit you just said was. It's like some sort of universal constant, the inverse relationship between how capable you are of saying a single seductive word and how much I'd like for you to seduce me at any given time! It's almost like you do it on purpose."

"I can promise you," Dave said, pulling Karkat's sweater up just a tiny bit higher, "I am one hundred percent incapable of devious machinations in this state. My brain is like, running on autopilot. You think I'm choosing these words? No way, man. They're just kind of falling out." He feathered his fingertips lightly over the newly exposed strip of smooth grey skin. Karkat shimmied up a little closer, lifting himself up on his knees. Dave craned his chin to keep his eyes on his face. The glare was gone, replaced by a faint little half-smile that Karkat couldn't quite keep off. And, as ever, seeing that expression on him made all kinds of shit flutter in his brain, his chest, his gut. And his pants, unfortunately. Or maybe fortunately? Both. Karkat didn't seem to mind.

Dave slid his hands up Karkat's back, tracing the knobby line of his spine.

"That's different from usual how, exactly?" Karkat demanded, and his voice was rough and his tone accusatory, but he couldn't hide the way he leaned back and into his touch. Dave grinned, working his fingertips slowly up.

"Shit, you got me. It's not. I'm just constantly in a state of brain paralyzing arousal around you, you fucking solved it." 

"Fuck," Karkat muttered, his cheeks darkening considerably. Nice, gratifying, five out of five hats. Then, louder: "It would explain a few things! And, I suppose, make your mind numbing day to day idiocy slightly more endearing, granted in a totally fucked up way." 

"So fucked up," Dave agreed, changing directions, running his thumbs over Karkat's ribs, tracing up and down the bony ridges. Karkat swallowed hard, dipped forward, and pressed their lips together lightly. Dave tried to lean in and make into something a little more saucy, but Karkat pulled away again, shifting in his lap. 

He was doing The Look, again. Dave blinked up at him, licking his lips. "Whatever you're wanting to say, or maybe do, God, I hope it's do that's way better than say, just do it. Or say it. Or do it. Please?" 

Karkat gave him a startled look, and then all the pink in his face darkened into a familiar shade of cherry red. "Again," he said, "Not super seductive!" 

"Shit, Karkat," Dave laughed, breathy and nervous, this shit still always made him so fucking nervous, "I'd seduce you in a second if I could figure out what it is about me that even makes you want to be here in the first place." Karkat made a derisive sound. Dave winced. "I mean, besides everything, obviously," he amended. 

"Oh, yeah," Karkat agreed. "Just look at you. The universe's pinkest, knobbiest, most verbally flatulent human, you're a catch." 

"No way, dude, you absolutely do not get to criticise me for verbal flatulence, that's your bag." Dave dropped his hands and leaned back on his elbows, smirking upward. "Well?"

"God, shut up," Karkat said, and then he reached down and lifted off his sweater in one smooth and completely unexpected motion. Dave sucked in a breath, eyes dropping and trying to roam everywhere at once. It was pretty rare to get him even half undressed in the light like this. Karkat let him look for about five uninterrupted seconds, and then he exhaled heavily and leaned over him, pressing his palms flat onto the mattress. Dave let himself drop backward into the pillows, and Karkat set about dragging the glorious points of his jagged alien teeth up the side of his neck. He hissed softly while a static jolt of heat rolled up his spine, and then he tilted his chin back with a little gasp, inviting more. Karkat pinched his skin between his teeth, leaving little crescent indents as he went, and Dave slid his eyes shut and smoothed his hands up and down his back. He was so goddamn warm. Karkat's tongue followed his teeth -- _that good alien sandpaper_ , Dave thought or possibly said? -- and they traced an alternating pattern of biting and soothing up to his earlobe, which Karkat bit, hard. 

"Motherfucker!" Dave's eyes snapped open, his shoulders jolting half off the bed. 

"Alien sandpaper yourself," Karkat laughed into his ear. His hands snaked up under Dave's flimsy pajama shirt and traced a path up over his chest.

"Listen--" 

"I'm not here to do _all_ the god damned work, Dave," Karkat chastised him. Simultaneously, he ran his thumbs over his (diamond hard, thank you) nipples, which made it pretty fucking difficult to think of a coherent reply. He opened his mouth. 

"Careful," he said, "Those things could cut glass." Karkat made a choking sound, and then promptly pinched him. Dave slapped his back, jerking away... but not very far. "Okay, fuck, I can do some work," Dave laughed, squirming furiously. Karkat went back to teasing his thumbs in little circles, instead. Dave took the opportunity to roll his hips up, making the state of the situation in his pants -- and it was, indeed, a Situation -- clear. "Maybe I just need some direction, huh? Tell me what you want, how about that?" Karkat let out a breathy little laugh, muttered a few choice inventive curses, and sat up. Dave waggled his eyebrows. Karkat stuck his tongue out at him. Dave got a good grip on Karkat's hips and pulled him closer. "Don't wiggle away from my boner, dude, you're the one who made him this way."

" _Stop_ ," Karkat demanded, immediately, but in direct contradiction to his own words, he then braced himself with his hands on Dave's shoulders and ground his own hips down to meet him. "Do not anthropomorphize your bulge." Dave exhaled, long and slow, pulling and then pushing, guiding Karkat's hips over him. "Not yours, or mine, or anyone's! Cut that shit out!" Dave's responding laugh morphed into a moan with humiliating speed, Karkat's eyes flickered up and met his, and -- nope, he couldn't possibly handle it, the way Karkat was always watching his face, god damn. He closed his eyes, focusing on the steady pooling of warmth in his middle and the way their breathing sped up until they were both communicating in a language comprised entirely of short, mingled gasps.

Eventually, he worked his hands up high enough that he could hook his thumbs into Karkat's waistband. "Okay, well," he managed, voice strained, "If you want me to work, you gotta give me something to work with." Totally reasonable. Karkat made a little _hmm_ sound, mostly rocking at his own pace, now: pleasingly rhythmic, maddeningly slow. The thing about alien junk -- it was totally fucking awesome, make no mistake -- but Karkat could sit a lot longer and a lot more comfortably where they were now without a second goddamn thought. Karkat had figured this out early on, of fucking course he had, and the thing was, Dave knew he loved it. Watching him turn into a pathetic squirming begging mess while his bulge still hadn't even had the decency to join the goddamn party. Rude. 

"I'm not giving you shit," Karkat decided, predictably, and Dave lifted his hands to cover his face with them, shoulders shaking. 

"Rude," he voiced the thought aloud. "Keep going." 

"If you want something so bad, you're more than welcome to take it, whatever it is." 

Oh, shit. Dave spread his fingers, peeking at Karkat through them, while something about the words and the way he said them sent another electric jolt right down his spine and straight into his already plenty impatient dick. 

"That kind of work, huh?"

Karkat shrugged, but his hips slowed -- definitely a warning. Ah, god. The absolute fucker. Dave's hands practically flew back to Karkat's waistband. He sat up, scooting forward, knees bending. "Shit, dude, you know I've got this." He tugged the elastic down over Karkat's ass with one hand. He used the other to tease his fingers over the soft skin of his abdomen, then further, down the smooth, overlapping bone plates that led the way like some kind of awesomely alien treasure trail. Karkat sucked in a sharp breath and lifted his hips, and Dave pressed his palm firmly against him while he switched from rocking against Dave's still tragically confined cock to pressing greedily into his hand, instead. Better for him and worse for Dave -- _but not for long,_ Dave thought, grinned up at him. He curled his fingers as the plates shifted to give him access to some place softer, wetter, and far, far sexier. 

"Jesus Christ," Karkat sighed. "Shut the fuck up!" 

"Sorry," Dave laughed, voice strained, tracing his fingers along the edges of Karkat's sheathe, watching his eyes flutter shut.

"Fuck you," Karkat said. "You're -- absolutely not," but there was no heat in it. Just a tiny bit of desperation that sent another thrill through all of Dave's increasingly overtaxed emotion centers. He flattened his palm and pressed the heel of it over the entrance, letting Karkat grind himself against it, listening to his breath come in ragged, panting gasps. His lips were parted, he had this little concentration crease between his eyebrows, his whole body was drawn up taut and tense and he was gorgeous, working himself open against Dave's fingers. _Still doing most of the work_ , Dave thought, viciously quashing the urge to giggle, again. His brain was short circuiting. That was just how it was.

"God, yes," Dave breathed, watching his face. "Come on, Karkat," Dave coaxed, softly, curling his fingers, pressing into the slickness, loving the heat of him and the way he gasped out breathless curses. Karkat's eyes fluttered open, slightly unfocused, and then he made this low, buzzing alien sound deep in his throat and pulled back, pushing Dave's hands away. Before Dave could even frame the question, Karkat was up on his knees and wriggling his own pants and underthings and all of it the rest of the way off, and oh, shit, this never happened. "Holy shit," he said, trying to look everywhere at once. 

"Don't say anything," Karkat warned him, kicking his pants off his ankles. "Not a single goddamn word, Dave!"

"Fuck," Dave said, in direct defiance of these simple orders. Karkat made another alien clicking sound, which Dave chose to interpret as a sexy rebuke. He never got to see him like this, all naked and fully exposed in the warm lamplight. He sat up to see better, watching hungrily as Karkat crawled back in closer... and then visibly grimaced, eyes flicking toward the light.

"I should..." he started, leaning toward it, but Dave caught his wrist and pulled him close, instead.

"Leave it on," he said. "Please?"

Karkat's eyes widened and met his, searching. Whatever he found there apparently convinced him, because he just dropped his gaze and nodded while a deep and endearing blush crept up his neck and made his cheeks practically glow. "Jesus, okay, fine," he muttered, letting Dave pull him back in. Dave slid one hand down the small of his back and over the curve of his ass, squeezing, and Karkat wriggled up close against him, like he could hide himself against Dave's body. "Take this shit off," Karkat demanded, tugging at his shirt. Dave sat up to comply... and then paused halfway through, a different idea settling in his brain.

"What if I don't, though?" he said, thoughtfully. 

"Excuse me?"

"I just feel like you might not realize how, uh, fucking beautiful you are?" His own face heated up at this -- truth was, they weren't the easiest words to say, but they were true. And Karkat obviously didn't hear them enough, so... Dave flashed him a quick grin, ignoring the flutter that went through him, making all his limbs feel a little too heavy. Karkat was just glaring. Very typical. He loved that glare, bared teeth and all. Shit, bared teeth especially.

"Don't say shit like that," Karkat muttered, finally, not quite meeting his eyes. He shifted and thumped Dave lightly on the back.

"True shit, you mean? You want me to lie?" 

"I _want_ you to take all this shit off so we can -- I mean, get back to --" Karkat took a deep breath, stilling against him. "Just touch me," he pleaded, and Dave's heart did a kickflip wheelie in his ribcage, squeezing painfully. 

"I'm gonna do more than that," he decided. Karkat made a derisive sound. Dave planted a sloppy kiss on the side of his face -- he sputtered adorably --then braced his back against the headboard and pushed. The utterly alien sound of affronted surprise Karkat made as he went over was truly a delight. He landed on his back with a very final sounding _thump_ , the mattress creaked as Dave settled back, and Karkat lifted his chin pinned him with a startled yet supremely irritated stare.

"Hey," Dave said, casually, letting his eyes roam. Karkat realized what he was doing, and immediately tried to snap his legs closed, but Dave caught his ankles and pulled him in. "Let's put these over here, actually," he said, scooting closer to pull Karkat's ankles over his shoulders. Karkat caught on quick -- his mouth opened and then snapped shut, his glare melting into something more like worried curiosity, instead. For a second, Dave honestly thought he was going to shut this whole developing situation right the fuck down, but after a second of chewing his lip he just took a deep, deep breath, covered his face with his hands, and obediently hooked his legs over Dave's shoulders, squirming up into his lap. He was breathing hard, tense and nervous. Dave ran his fingers over his hips in little circles, considering. 

"I still don't understand what you get out of this," Karkat said, muffled into his own palms, and Dave just laughed, softly, kissing all along the inside of his thighs. Fuck, what did he even say to that? He looked so good like this, all laid out and open, red-slicked and swollen with what Dave thought ( _hoped_ ) was anticipation. When he leaned forward close enough to let his breath tease over him, Karkat made a series of sharp throaty space bug sounds -- Dave loved those -- and shivered head to toe. _Fuck yes,_ Dave thought, his dick throbbing almost painfully. 

"Really?" Dave said, and Karkat wiggled his hips and made that sound again. "Really, Karkat, you don't have a single clue?"

"No!" Karkat lowered his hands, took one look up at him, and immediately slapped them back over his eyes, breathing hard. "I mean, obviously I know what _I_ get out of it, but no, Dave, I don't understand what could possibly be appealing or desirable about having any part of my freakish anatomy anywhere -- fucking, visible, let alone up close and extremely fucking personal, in, oh, your, _ah_ , oh, fuck..."

And that was satisfying, how he just dissolved into incoherency the second that Dave leaned in and ran his tongue along the length of his slit. Karkat was better with words than he was, but by fucking god, he was still going to win this one with his mouth. First, he was going to make Karkat understand how insanely hot he was through the sheer stunning power of extremely enthusiastic oral. Karkat tried to talk through it, he really did, but every time a coherent word managed to escape him Dave pressed his tongue in a little further, moaning against the soft, sensitive skin along the edges. He slumped down against the headboard, Karkat pushed his hips frantically forward, and when Dave flicked his eyes up he could see down the whole length of him, from his ridged bone plates to his clenched abdominal muscles and up the perfect knobby ladders of his ribs. His chin was tilted back, sweat gathered in the dips above his collar bones, and really, Dave thought, all he wanted to do was drag his slimy human tongue over every goddamn part of him, forever.

He reached around Karkat's legs and used his thumbs to spread the edges of his sheathe, pressing his tongue in deeper, like it was some kind of slick troll microbulge, curling and wiggling and searching. "Fuck," Karkat gasped, and Dave lifted his chin to watch with interest as he slid his hands up over his eyes and curled his fingers in his own hair. "Don't stop, oh god, oh shit, Dave, don't stop don't stop don't stop," he begged, and even as he said this he'd sometimes try to twist and pull away -- but Dave held him firmly in place, alternating between licking broad stripes and tongue fucking him mercilessly. "Dave, Jesus, yes please," Karkat groaned, following this up with more needy troll noises. His body went taut and his heels dug almost painfully into Dave's shoulderblades. A thick, tangy, and just slightly salty spurt of cherry red material dribbled down his chin, and he gave him one last teasing lick before pulling away to watch Karkat's bulge uncurl itself out through the opening, slick and dripping and undulating in the air. 

Karkat's eyes snapped open, wide and frantic. "What the fuck, Dave, come on," he groaned, watching Dave watch him. He tried to twist away, but Dave held him firmly in place, holding his breath while Karkat's bulge shivered and pulled in closer to his body heat, squirming against his stomach. Karkat made a raspy, desperate sound, and Dave blinked down at him, grinning. 

"You want me to keep going?" he asked, all innocence. 

"Yes," Karkat snapped at him, breathing hard. "Obviously!"

"You want me to lick it for you, Karkat?" Dave heard these words come out of him, and later on he would probably find them mortifying, but right now his brain was on vacation and his dick was in the driver's seat, beep beep, motherfuckers. "You want that?"

"God damn it," Karkat muttered, and then louder, "Yes, Dave, yes, please, indulge me, okay? Do me the goddamn courtesy of pretending to enjoy this, so we can end this mutual fucking torture and move on with our lives!" 

Dave licked a narrow stripe around the base of him, and in response, the entire weird and awesome and entirely too appealing thing whipped back around to seek him out. "Hey, Karkat," he said, cheerfully, "I don't think your bulge minds the taste or texture of my nasty human tongue."

"What a surprise! It has the same dubious fucking preferences that I do! Because it's a part of me, dipshit!"

"Shit," Dave laughed, softly. "I'm gonna just," he started, and then he ran his tongue over the bumpy texture at the base, coaxing Karkat's bulge to twine the tip of itself around him. This accomplished, he closed his lips around it, sucking hard. Karkat made a garbled sound, and Dave opened his eyes just in time to see him ball one grey fist and slam it against the mattress, his other hand pressed palm-first tight over his mouth. Dave opened his lips a little wider to let more of it in, teasing with the tip of his tongue,then pulled himself off completely and squeezed up and down its length with his fingers, instead. When they were good and slicked up with the thick, slippery material, he went back to using his mouth, simultaneously reaching around to slowly tease another entrance from behind. The sounds Karkat made, fuck. It was hard to think. Eventually he had him rocking back onto his fingers and forward into his mouth, working him until he was just a quivering, incoherent puddle in his lap. 

Then he pulled himself off completely. Karkat made a gratifyingly pathetic defeated protest sound. Dave slid his legs off his shoulders and straightened up, licking his lips. God, but it was everywhere. Karkat blinked up at him with hazy, unfocused eyes, and he just looked absolutely wrecked. His hair was tousled and damp from exertion, his face and chest and shoulders were flushed with an actual red sheen of sweat, and he was sprawled back like he was boneless. He let his legs just fall obscenely open to either side, his bulge curling sluggishly between them.

"God, no," he whined, arching up and lifting his ass off the bed. "What now?! What are you doing, don't _stop?_ ” 

"I'm not stopping," Dave promised him, sweeping his eyes up and down his body and back again.

Where was his camera when he really needed it? This type of shit had to be immortalized in film, fuck. "I thought, maybe, you might want...?" Dave pulled himself onto his knees and rested one hand suggestively over the obvious and increasingly untenable tent in his pants. He kept his eyes on Karkat, but he couldn't help but rub himself through the fabric.

"What, that?”

“Wow, dude, really?” Dave flicked one of his knees. Karkat twitched back and retaliated by nudging him with his foot. “ You don't have to say it like that, damn, you're gonna hurt our feelings.”

“What the fuck did I just say about this? Your bulge doesn't have feelings, Dave, it's a fucking non sentient knobby flesh stick!”

“And you love it,” Dave said, grinning. “Right?”

“I…”

“Right, Karkat?” Dave settled between Karkat’s open legs, thumbing his waistband suggestively.

“Are you going to fuck me?" Karkat asked, and the way he said it, incredulous and excited and -- fuck. Dave's cock twitched under the heat of his palm through his pants. 

"I mean, shit, assuming you want me to?”

"Do I ever fucking not?"

Dave's face went hot, and it was hilarious, actually, that he could feast on Karkat's bulge for days and feel nothing but smug, but this made him so --

"Right, fuck, stupid question," he said, shimmying his pants down just enough to free himself. Karkat watched this with interest, a fact that Dave tried very hard not to think too hard about -- it made him nervous, still. He distracted himself by crawling over him, and by god, he tried his fucking best to smirk, but he was pretty sure all that happened was he actually smiled in a way that was way, way too fucking sincere. Karkat reached up and touched his face, just for a second, and then he outright grimaced, sliding his fingers into the hair at the back of Dave's head. 

“I do love it,” he said, and heat and sparks rolled down Dave's spine at the admission even as he opened his mouth to make fun of him for saying so. Before he could, Karkat yanked him down for a long, deep, black-spots-behind-the-eyes sort of kiss. 

"Holy shit," Dave said, faintly, when he finally let him go. Karkat just smiled at him -- smiled, and reached down between them to give his dick a playful little squeeze, hard enough to make Dave's hips jerk. Then he laid back, biting his lip in that nervous distracting way he had, while Dave struggled to reorganize his thoughts.

"I'm actually worried you're going to change your mind about this any second," Karkat said, watching him. 

"Not a fucking chance," Dave assured him. Simultaneously, he pushed his hips forward, pressing his dick up against the length of Karkat’s warm, wet and wiggling bulge. It responded instantly, sliding itself around him, and they both made nearly identical _mmmhh_ noises, moving together. “Fuck,” Dave murmured, rocking his hips, heat spreading through him. Karkat’s arms locked tight around him and pulled him close, and Dave buried his face in his neck, mumbling strings of absolute nonsense into the beat of his pulse. This close, skin to skin, he could hear the low, almost hum-like buzz beneath the things Karkat was saying -- mostly just varying flavors of _fuck_ and the occasional _shut up_ in response to his rambling. He tilted his chin and kissed him, wet and sloppy up his neck and under his jaw.

“Sorry,” he said, laughing breathlessly. “I can’t shut up, I’m physically incapable--” 

“Stop talking about my bulge, at least, you’re so fucking embarrassing --” 

“Hey, Karkat,” he said, kissing up the side of his face, “I think your bulge likes my knobby flesh stick almost as much as it likes my nasty slime tongue.” 

“Oh my god,” Karkat said, and his shoulders spasmed and he slapped Dave’s back, hard, while he tried his best not to laugh.

“Which one do you think it likes more? I mean, I think it’s a toss up, but it seems pretty fucking enthusiastic right now, so...”

“I don’t want to fucking hear it, Dave!” 

“You don’t? Don’t you, though? Don’t you want to hear all about how you’ve got the best sex tentacle of all time?” 

“No! Absolutely not, shut the _fuck_ up!” 

“You want to hear about how fucking good that feels, all hot and wet and wrapped up around my --” 

Karkat outright snarled at this, then turned his face and caught his lips with his, none too fucking gently. Dave laughed incoherently into his mouth, and Karkat bunched his fists tight into the back of his shirt... which he was still wearing... while Karkat was totally naked beneath him. The thought was like a lightning rod from his brain to his dick. Dave groaned into the kiss, pushed himself up on his hands, and quickened the pace. Karkat yanked his shirt back and broke the kiss, blinking up at him. 

“I swear to god,” he growled, “If you come before you manage to get that ridiculous thing inside me --” 

“If you don’t want me to come, maybe stop squeezing my dick like -- Jesus, do you have any idea what that’s doing to me, do you -- oh, _fuck_ , do that again,” he gasped, tucking his face back into the side of Karkat’s neck to muffle the noises that came out of him next. _Fuck_.

“This?” Karkat teased him, still in that rough, gravelly tone, fuck, it was so hot, he was dying. Karkat’s bulge moved against him, squeezing, sliding around the head of his dick, and Dave responded the only way he knew how -- with a garbled string of nonsense. Karkat kept on, relentlessly. “This? Stop this? Come on, Dave, stop or go?” Dave sucked in a breath, pulled his hips back and nipped at the skin between Karkat’s neck and shoulder. Karkat gasped, his bulge literally shivered, and Dave moved down his shoulder and bit again, harder. “Oh, fuck you,” Karkat groaned. 

“You first,” Dave said. He pressed a kiss against the marks he’d made, and then he lifted himself up and settled back on his knees. The way Karkat immediately and eagerly responded, spreading his legs for him, was so -- _fuck_. Karkat lifted his ass, and Dave slid his hands up to grab his hips. He teased the head of his dick against Karkat’s entrance. “I want you to know--” 

“--Oh my fucking god, Dave, whatever is about to come out of your mouth, please, please just keep it in there!” 

“I want you to know, it looks like I’ve just murdered a man with my dick --” 

“God _damn_ it!”

“You love it,” Dave said, grinning down at him. He saw Karkat suck in a breath to reply, and he tightened his grip on his hips and pushed into him before he could get any words out. Instead, the breath all just came out of him in an audible rush, undercut with his usual (incredible) alien sex growls. He reached up over his head and gripped the bedsheets in his fists, squeezing hard. Dave watched his face as he filled him, the way his eyes squeezed shut and his head fell back, the way his lips parted and he just sort of groaned out an elongated _fuuuuck_ for a frankly hilarious number of seconds. Nice.

God, he was so fucking _hot_. 

“Shut up,” Karkat breathed. 

“But you are,” Dave said, faintly. All the heat and wet and shivering tightness down between his legs was mingling with the funny full feeling in his chest and shorting out all his brain circuits, and he never got used to the feeling, never, no matter how many times they did this. 

Karkat’s eyes blinked open, blood red and glinting in the light. Gorgeous. “Shut up and _move_ ,” he amended, and Dave took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and set about doing exactly that. And, fuck, it was good, incredible, amazing, tight and slick and the sound of it, the wet sounds between them and Karkat’s hoarse gasping moans and Dave’s names on his lips, “Yes, Dave, fuck, yes, ah, _ah_ , god, _Dave_ \--” 

“Karkat,” he sighed back, sliding his hands up his sides, back down, squeezing in rhythm with his movements. Karkat gasped orders at him -- there and again and faster and more and Dave could always tell when he got the angle exactly right, because Karkat arched up off the bed and cried his name, loud as anything. He loved it. Oh, fuck, he loved him so much. He snapped his eyes open, breathing hard.

He was beautiful, laid out beneath him, face locked in focused pleasure. His bulge squirmed against his stomach, thick and dripping red in thick sheets all over his sweat-sheened skin. His fists were twisting into the bedsheets, and his legs came up and wrapped around Dave, so tight that his heels dug almost painfully into the small of his back. It took about everything he had not to let himself go right then and there. He bit his own tongue, grounding himself with the pain of it, absolutely fucking determined to take Karkat over first. But, oh, fuck, he was so hot. 

“Come on,” he gasped, lifting Karkat up and pushing hard, and the noises, oh, god. “Come on, Karkat, come on, come _on_...” 

Karkat let go of the sheets with one hand, and Dave groaned as he brought it down and used it to stroke himself, squeezing his own bulge from base to tip. Red material sheeted out between his fingers, thick and endless, Karkat practically whimpered, hips squirming with desperate need, and Dave squeezed his eyes shut again because if he watched that for even one more second he was going to come so hard he’d probably die.

But a few more seconds was all it took. Karkat cried out, Dave opened his eyes, and the sight of him arched up and gushing red in rivulets down his thighs -- how could anyone see that and not just -- his hips stuttered, he tipped his head back, and he buried himself balls deep one more time before he lost it. For a second, all he could hear was his heartbeat and the ragged sound of his own rapid breathing, and all he could feel was the pulsing core of pleasure down below, rocking him in waves.

When it was over, and the concept of general awareness began to trickle back into his immortal shell, he found himself slumped over and pressed tight against Karkat, who had at some point wrapped his arms around him too. These were squeezing even tighter than his legs, still locked around his hips. Karkat was breathing hard and rocking himself slowly against him, drawing out every last bit of pleasure from the arrangement. Dave slid his fingers into Karkat’s sweaty, messy hair, grabbed his horns, and kissed him hard, forcing his head back. Karkat grunted into his mouth and shuddered against him, reciprocating enthusiastically.

He couldn’t think of anything to say. Everything was just the taste and feel of Karkat beneath him, and a pleasant static buzz between his ears. Evidently, Karkat felt the same, because for awhile all they did was exchange sloppy kisses and grind together, skin slick in the puddle Karkat had helpfully deposited both on and beneath them. Eventually, Dave pulled his face up and started laughing, softly.

“What?” Karkat demanded. He had this charming, shy post-coital smile that Dave absolutely adored, and it was already giving way to his usual pointed glaring. But that was all right. Dave adored that, too.

“I was just thinking, usually it’s _your_ pants that get totally fucking ruined like this.” They were kind of uncomfortable, now, actually, sticky and cold, the wet waistband still sitting halfway down his hips. Karkat snorted, reached around him, pulled the band back and snapped it against his ass. Dave literally yelped, jumping up and slapping his hands away. “Fucker,” he said, scrambling backward. 

“You’re the one who wouldn’t take them off!” 

“I’m taking them off now!” 

“Well, it’s a little too fucking late, Dave, don’t you think?” 

Dave kicked them off, sending them somewhere off the side of the bed, and then he shrugged and pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed that off somewhere, too. Whatever. “Better late than never,” he said, waggling his eyebrows, crawling back over to Karkat and his hilarious troll puddle. He’d scooted over to the other side of the bed, at least, and was just kind of laying there with his head propped up in the pillows. “That’s a hell of a wet spot,” he said, mostly to hide the way his heart fluttered when Karkat reached his arms out and pulled him in close, sliding his hands up the sides of his bare (and sweaty, so sweaty) back.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Karkat said, sharply.

“Must have been pretty damn good,” Dave went on, because, well, of course he did. “Like, extremely good, really all kinds of just mind blowing, right?” 

“ _Please_ stop,” Karkat said, breath hot against the side of his face. Dave raised his eyebrows. Karkat closed his eyes and shook his head. “You _know_ it was good,” he grumbled. 

Dave flopped over, cheek pressed against Karkat’s shoulder, and sighed happily. “I like to hear you say it, though,” he said. Karkat threaded the fingers of one hand through his hair, nails pressing into his scalp. It felt amazing. He was still light headed and giddy, warm and full of all kinds of fond post-sex stuff brain chemicals. Karkat was literally rumbling from somewhere deep in his chest, and the sound and feel of it was just… “Perfect,” he murmured.

Karkat tugged his hair. “What is?”

“You, obviously.” Karkat made a derisive sound, and tugged his hair again, harder. Dave nudged him with his chin. “You can pull my hair all you want, Karkat, it won’t change the facts.” 

“Whatever,” Karkat muttered, going back to soothing little scratches. “If you like it so much you should do that more often,” he added, making it sound like an accusation. 

“I would, but you never let me see you like that.” 

“You shouldn’t _want_ to see me like that!” 

“Well, I do. I want to see you like that, like, every day, all the time.” Karkat scoffed, flicking the back of his head. Dave ignored this, nodding against him. “I should just, throw out all your clothes, have you go around naked all the time. Shit, why don’t we move to a beach?” 

“A beach,” Karkat repeated, incredulous. 

“Yeah, man, a beach, you know, all the best nudie communities are on beaches.” 

“ _Communities_ ,” Karkat’s voice pitched a little higher. 

“Obviously, this one will just be for you and me.” 

“Humans,” Karkat muttered, and Dave nodded again. 

“Yeah, we’re pretty awesome.” 

“Awesomely _unfathomable_.” 

“Awesomely irresistible,” Dave corrected him, grinning. “And full of great ideas.” 

“Yeah, next time I want to burn alive and get sand up my nook I’ll be sure to consult your species for tips,” Karkat agreed, and Dave turned his face against him and laughed, shoulders shaking. 

“It doesn’t have to be a beach,” he conceded, eventually. 

“It doesn’t have to be anywhere, because it’s not happening!” 

“Hey.” 

“ _What?_ ”

Dave swallowed down a sudden wave of nerves and sat up, turning to look at him. He was glaring all petulantly up from the pillows, eyebrows squished down and frowning. Dave put his hands on either side of his face, thumbs brushing over the shell of his pointy-tipped alien ears, and tilted his head up. Karkat blinked up at him, eyes wide.

“I’m not joking, you know, when I say you’re -- like, attractive,” he said, and his face was heating up horribly, and he was talking faster the longer it went on and it was so hard to keep eye contact, but -- “You are. And I like it. And I like to see it, I like to see you, and you can cover the mirrors and dress yourself up in baggy sweatshirts and make jokes about how weird and gross you are all you want, it doesn’t change my opinion, and my opinion is way better than yours, on account of the fact that your opinion is _bullshit_ and mine is the absolute, objective truth of the matter, and that’s that.” 

Karkat’s face was as red as his was by the time he was finished, and Dave expected him to argue, or something, but all that happened was he opened his mouth and licked his lips and said, “Oh,” in a very uncharacteristically quiet voice.

Dave took a deep breath, and let him go. “Yeah,” he said. He looked away, cleared his throat, and then settled awkwardly back down, like nothing had happened. Karkat wrapped his arms around him, and for awhile there was nothing but the sound of their breathing. Before long, though, Karkat’s comforting rumble-purr thing started up again -- probably a good sign -- and Dave relaxed against him, letting the sound and the feel of it lull him into at least a good half-doze.

Eventually, Karkat shifted under him, leaning over and across him to get the light. There was a brief _click_ and the room plunged into comparative darkness, lit by the moonlight through the windows. 

“Hey,” Karkat whispered, when he’d settled back down.

“Yeah?” Dave yawned, snuggling against him, skin to skin. Felt nice. He was probably going to demand they get up and go shower, or something. He could never just settle down and sleep in his own filth for a night. This was probably what people meant when they talked about high maintenance partners.

“Thanks,” Karkat said, softly. “For… uh, all that shit you said, I guess.”

Oh. He felt his cheeks go warm.

“Dude, no. Don’t -- I mean, you can thank me later, when you start believing it.” 

Karkat laughed in that sarcastic, bitter way he had, mostly whenever he was laughing at himself. “Fine,” he said, “Just so long as you’re aware that might be never.” He framed it like a joke, but Dave kinda knew better. He shrugged. 

“Well, I’ve got for fucking ever to convince you, literally, so…” he reached up and pulled one of Karkat’s ears, eliciting a satisfying little growl. “Fuck you.” 

“Fuck _you_ ,” Karkat said, and Dave couldn’t see him, but he knew him well enough by now to hear the little smile in his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written live for the Strilonde Fan Jams Discord. Thanks for your support, y'all. 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [@landofsomethingsomething](http://landofsomethingsomething.tumblr.com)


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